Holding You I Held Everything
by inkytears
Summary: As the annual Hogwarts Ball quickly approaches, Remus is faced with an absolutely devastating roadblock: He can't dance; period. Luckily, he finds himself a fantastic teacher and everything falls into place quite brilliantly. Even if not exactly the way he'd planned.


"Careful, Moony. Pace any faster and you might burn a hole in the carpet."

A dark-haired boy of seventeen leaned back in the rickety old chair that sat in the Gryffindor boys' common room, nearly tipping it over as he gripped the edge of a nightside table for a little support.

The young man in question—who's pacing had apparently reached new levels of anxiousness—quickly skidded to a halt, turning towards his friend with an odd sort of annoyance in his eyes that he wasn't at all trying to mask.

"And you," he began, crossing his arms, "Are _absolutely_ setting yourself up for a cracked head if you keep leaning back in that chair of yours. If it's all the same to you, Sirius, I haven't exactly got the time for a healing spell today."

With a groan that spoke one part irritation and two parts disbelief that Remus could be so wretchedly uptight about everything he laid eyes on, Sirius quickly righted his posture, planting each of the four chair legs firmly on the carpet as he crossed his arms. His stance matched Remus's, despite the fact that he couldn't be bothered to stand like his friend, and kept his arse planted in the chair nearly as permanently as the legs would now stay against the floor.

"Remus," he began—nearly whined as he rolled his eyes in complete and utter exasperation, "This… this _thing_. You're aware it's not the end of the world, correct? Really, mate, I'm afraid this worrying might give you some godawful frown lines, and while I'm sure you'd still be_ equally_ as dashing with or without, I take it you'd rather avoid them if at all possible." Sirius paused to take a closer look at Remus, hoping to be greeted with some twitching form of a smile. Instead, he was met with a frown that would've made Salazar Slytherin himself weep at its level of disapproval.

"I—Moony…" he began.

But Remus was quicker, cutting off his friend with a frustrated noise cousin to a heavy exhale and a grunt. "_Unfortunately_," he said in the other boy's direction, "Face cream doesn't exactly happen to be my first priority at the moment. Besides—" he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, falling back to his bed and bouncing once against the mattress, "—It's not like anyone would really noticed them, would they? Not in comparison to what I'll be doing; Anyway, I doubt a wrinkle or two would be a real dealbreaker for Moaning Myrtle."

With that, Remus cracked his first smile of the night, caused by the thought of bringing Hogwarts' notorious ghost to their annual school ball, that of which was coming up all too soon in Remus's opinion—a mere three days until he was shoved into the pit of social interactions and verbal communication; two things he'd rather avoid if he could help it.

"I thought you were taking Cynthia?" Sirius asked, tilting his head in confusion, "What are you going on about Myrtle for?"

Remus sighed as he gave a short nod. "Well, I am _now_. But I doubt Cynthia will really want anything to do with me once she knows, now will she?"

Cynthia Shell, despite having a rather unfortunate name, was a bright young girl in Ravenclaw. Since she was only a fifth year, she'd been absolutely delighted at the invitation by Remus to allow him to accompany her, seeing as only sixth and seventh years were permitted, save for the younger students who'd managed to snag an eligible date. It hadn't been a terrible ideal to ask her either, as far as these things went. Remus had, notably, only tripped over his own feet_ twice_ during the entire thirty second conversation through an empty corridor, and Cyn had somehow managed to stifle a rather charming giggle before accepting with a quick kiss to her newly acquired date's cheek.

While Remus certainly didn't fancy her, she seemed like a pleasant enough girl—and more importantly, she'd been a steady assurance that he wouldn't suffer the humiliation of showing up stag as a seventh year. It was the latter reason that he practically cowered at the thought of losing her as a date, not because he hoped to snog the poor girl behind the bushes or anything of that sort, much like he'd heard a few of his fellow classmates planning to go about with their own respective dates.

Snapped out of his own, thoughts, Remus's head shot up at the sound of his friend's voice.

"Mate, it's _really_ not that big of a deal. I'm sure she'll understand that you—"

"Can't dance? _Won't _dance? Am absolutely_ opposed_ to moving my arms or legs in any unnecessary manner that doesn't involve walking or intricate wandwork? Yeah, Sirius," Remus sighed, falling back to his blanket so that his back was flat against the mattress and he could stare comfortably up at the sky, "I think she will."

The lighter-haired boy slowly inhaled, then released the air through his teeth with a whistle. "Maybe I'll just skip out on the whole thing this time around. Catch up on some schoolwork." Even as he said it, he knew it to be untrue. The only thing more humiliating than showing up to the Ball alone was not showing up at all.

Sirius frowned, then pushed himself up from his chair and crossed over to Remus in two easy strides, extending his hand towards his friend. "Up," he said.

Warily eyeing the other boy's hand, Remus may have_ sat _up, but he certainly didn't take it without asking why.

"Because," Sirius explained, "I'm about ready to teach that sorry arse of yours how to dance, just to stop all your moaning and groaning. It's becoming a bit tiresome to listen to, really."

Not without a good, long bout of lengthy hesitation, Remus eventually placed his hand in his friend's and allowed the other boy to pull him up. Though as soon as he was standing, he was immediately made more nervous by the fact that Sirius hadn't yet let go of his hand.

"You'll _teach _me?" Remus questioned, eyebrow raised so high on his forehead it was really a miracle it hadn't yet required a broomstick. "And how on earth do you plan on managing that?"

A low chuckle bubbled from Sirius's lips as he shook his head, grin startlingly wide and the glint in his eyes downright dangerous.

"So little faith in me, Moony. Really, I'm insulted."

With that, Sirius did an odd sort of shimmy before jerking on the other boy's hand and dipping him so _dramatically _low that Remus nearly knocked his head against the ground from the haste of it all. Instead, he made a strange, gurgling noise in the back of his throat that sounded a bit like choking as his eyes grew to the size of saucer plates.

"Sirius Piece of Arrogant Rubbish Black, you pick me up this _instant_," he practically shrieked, in a very unMoony-esque voice—because honestly, at this angle, he couldn't very well get up himself.

Luckily, despite his thin frame, Sirius wasn't exactly lacking lean muscle in any sense of the word, so he was able to hold Remus steady as he leaned down at an agonizingly slow pace. Lower, lower, lower still—so close their noses were practically touching, and he could see the little flecks of gold in his friend's eyes.

"_Make_ me," he whispered.

And so, Remus did. He stomped on the other boy's foot good and hard, causing him to inevitably tumble to the floor. Though thankfully, it didn't hurt much seeing as he'd already been blessedly close to begin with. Sirius, on the other hand, was clearly in a substantial bit of pain. He was hopping 'round the room on one foot, wailing to the Heavens that they'd somehow made a mistake and given Remus Lupin a foot of steel; which of course, only caused Remus to find the whole situation that much more amusing.

"Pads, I—Sirius, c'mon. You… oh, stop whining, it didn't… _Sirius_!"

The glaring finality to his friend's voice was what eventually caused Sirius to halt—one foot on the ground, and one foot held tenderly in his hand as he teetered a bit now that he'd stopped moving. "I think it's broken, Moony," he whined, finally dropping his leg to the floor, "You've nearly managed to crush every bone in there, I reckon."

Remus only laughed, standing up from his spot on the ground and made his way over to Sirius. "It's probably only bruised," he offered, "And really, you had it coming to begin with, didn't you? Pulling something like that—" He shook his head in amusement, "You'd think after seven long and tiresome years, you'd finally learn who's the better wizard here."

With a pout and an indignant nod that brought Sirius's chin towards the ceiling, he muttered, "At least I'm better looking."

"Up for debate. Now how 'bout those dance lessons of yours, Pads? Much as it pains me to admit it…" Remus leaned in a bit closer as if telling a well-guarded secret. He may have been playing it up a bit, sure—but he knew that the other boy would go for it, "…I actually hear that you're quite good."

As he'd anticipated, that brightened Sirius up considerably, and as a genuine smile crossed his face, his 'broken' foot was all but forgotten.

"Well then, looks like you've _heard_ correctly," Sirius teased, "C'mon. You're not going to learn anything from three feet away."

The darker haired of the two held out his arms, presumably for Remus to step into—which he did a moment later with a bit of warranted hesitation, especially after what'd happened only a few short moments ago.

"There's no music," Remus observed once they were standing nearly chest to chest, arms held at proper position with Sirius leading. There was a strange bit of tension at the proximity that both boys felt, but both chose to ignore for the time being, instead opting not to give the blatant sizzling that practically crackled between their bodies a second thought.

Once he'd swallowed that pesky lump in his throat, Sirius managed a grin and shook his head. "No need," he explained, "After all, we're only practicing, aren't we? Here—"

With that, he began counting the steps out loud. It was painfully _slow_, seeing as with each number, he had to gradually guide Remus to where they were supposed to be in time with the 'music'. Step by step by painful step, the two of them eventually fell into a slow sort of rhythm as they glided across the room to a separate tune in their own heads.

"You know, Remus," Sirius eventually said as he lifted his arm in order to allow the other boy to twirl underneath, his voice most awkwardly cracking on the last syllable, "You're really not all that bad at this. I can't say I'm sure what in Merlin's name you were so beside yourself about."

As Remus stepped under Sirius's arm, noticeably shivering as it fell back to its plac, and brushed against his side on the way down, he giggled. "Well, it's no doubt due to your _incredible_ teaching, Mr. Padfoot."

Sirius shook his head, subconsciously dropping his hand to his friend's lower back as he stepped just a fraction closer on the next turn. "Rubbish," he said, "We've only been at this for what? Five minutes? And look at that—" He slowed his steps just a bit so that he could observe Moony, who at this point, could have honestly been leading himself, "—You've already gotten the hang of it."

"Yeah, well…" Remus cleared his throat and blushed, taking his own step towards Sirius without even realizing it, so that their bodies were nearly flush against each other all over again, "I'm a fast learner."

Caught up in the fact that Remus was _right there_—his eyelashes casting these godawfuly long shadows across his cheeks in the dim moonlight that shone down from the dormitory window, his lips an unnatural shade of red as they quivered slightly, working harder than usual to take in air now that both boys were a bit out of breath. The way their hands hands were clenched tight—sweating slightly, but absolutely perfect; and the fact that with each labored breath, their heartbeats practically ran through each _other _due to how close they were standing, caused the strangest thought to run through Sirius Black's mind.

_Kiss me_, his thoughts practically begged as he stared down at his friend—then his mind decided to take a bit of a different approach. _For the love of Merlin, just kiss HIM._

But he didn't. Rather than leaning forward and catching his friend's lips in a fleeting kiss, Sirius stumbled backwards, dropping Remus's arms and clumsily stepping a good two or three feet away.

"I—right," he said, nodding with a blatant air of awkwardness, "Erm… well, I think you'll be just fine come Saturday. So, ah… have a nice… you know, night. I'm heading off."

Unfortunately, the fact that both boys shared a common dorm didn't exactly leave Sirius with any means of an exist, so instead he practically flew into bed, clothes and all; covered himself entirely with his blanket; and pretended to be fast asleep. All, notably, in ten seconds flat—which then left Remus Lupin standing in the middle of the floor, confused, slightly cross, and more than a little disappointed.

Because as it happened, Moony had experience that exact same thought running through his mind as well, and the fact that he'd been three seconds away from outright_ snogging_ his best friend left him more than a little unnerved far past that night when he crawled into bed.

* * *

The next three days seemed to fly by faster than a rousing game of Quidditch, leaving Remus still very much _off _about the whole situation with Sirius come Saturday morning as he idly poked at his egg during breakfast.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Asked James, mouth full of something that Remus, though he couldn't be entirely sure, hesitantly labeled as toast. They were sitting side-by-side, James taking up a spot that normally would have been reserved for Peter since as he and Sirius were essentially inseparable. But, seeing as earlier Sirius had complained of a massive headache, and urged the three of his friends to head to breakfast without him, James had quickly snatched up the opportunity while Peter was then banished to the other side of the table by his lonesome. Poor bloke was always a bit of a last resort.

Remus sighed, again poking at his runny yolk. "Nothing," he muttered, "Cold feet about tonight, s'all."

James firmly patted his back, and if anything, it caused the other boy to lose what little of his apatite he had left. "Now _that_," he began, "I understand. Big night all around, tonight is. This is the first time Evans has agreed to be my date for just about anything, you know that? I reckon it's got something to do with this new set of robes, but she_ claims_ it's that my 'ego's lessened' or some other prissy rubbish like that. I mean, really. Me? Without a massive sense of self-worth?" He shook his head. "Utterly ridiculous."

From across the table, Peter muttered a soft agreement around a mouthful of porridge, which Remus then took as his cue to go.

"Excuse me," he muttered, pushing himself from the table and leaving a full plate behind.

James called after him, as did Peter a moment later, but after already settling on the decision that he'd spend some much-needed time in the library before tonight's events, Remus had duly stopped listening.

* * *

"What do you think, Moony?" Sirius asked as he stepped away from the full-length mirror that stood in the corner of their dorm and turned to face his friend. "Fits properly, doesn't it?" He held out his arms for Remus to inspect, though quite certain the other boy didn't know any more about proper fitting dress robes than he did.

As it happened, Remus didn't much _care_ either. He was lounging on his bed in his own set of robes, far too preoccupied with looking like he _wasn't _preoccupied with the way Sirius's robes brought out the absolute best in his complexion and made his eyes light up like goddamn Christmas lights. Rather pleasant Christmas lights—but still, irritatingly bright nonetheless.

"Oh yeah," he mumbled, not even looking up from his potions book, "Very nice."

Sirius visibly deflated, allowing his arms to fall to his sides as he stepped over to Remus and lowered himself down onto the bed beside him. Gently closing the other boys position book with little disregard as to whether or not he was holding a page, Sirius sighed and willed the other boy to _actually_ look up at him—unlikely, seeing as they hadn't made proper eye contact in days.

"Are we alright?" he asked; blatant, and nervous and strangely insecure considering his usual streak of arrogance.

It was his tone of voice that caused Remus's gaze to rise from the bed, and eventually find its way to Sirius's eyes. "Of course," he practically breathed, because _Merlin_ they were gorgeous. He must have become desensitized from looking at them on an hourly basis, because now that he hadn't seen them properly in a good few days, he was rendered absolutely speechless. "Why—why wouldn't we be?"

Sirius shook his head, frowning a bit in confusion as to why Moony was suddenly looking at him like he'd grown another nose out of his left cheek. "C'mon, Remmy," he begged, "Don't be a git. It's been—_we've_ been a bit… _off._ Ever since Thursday we've barely talked, and I just thought I'd—"

Remus swiftly took his wand from the bed and pressed it lightly against Sirius's lips, stopping the other boy's progress mid-sentence. "Pads, I _promise_ you—" He slowly lowered his wand with a unsure, though absolutely genuine smile, "—You and I; we're okay."

Now, two _normal_ friends may have hugged to release any lingering stress and called it a day. Sirius on the other hand, essentially jumped on top of Remus and engaged him in a tickle war for the ages, which raged on and on until both boys were absolutely spent a good twenty minutes later—chests heaving and shoulders side by side as they both stared up at the ceiling.

No matter what took place in the next few hours, in that moment, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black _knew_ without an inkling of doubt that they would always and forever be_ absolutely_ okay.

* * *

At eleven o'clock that very evening, Remus came to the entirely accurate conclusion that school dances were the doing of the great Devil himself.

He and Cynthia had spend the past three hours utterly bored out of their minds, because as Remus quickly learned, talking about classes didn't work seeing as they were of two different years, grabbing punch only seemed to waste a minute or two, and discussions about Quidditch between two people who really couldn't care less about the game didn't last long at all.

The two of them mostly sat in silence, really—and while Cynthia had claimed that she didn't mind and was happy just to have been invited, Remus could tell quite clearly that she did. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty, especially when she'd asked him whether or not he'd like to dance, he all but yelled a resounding _NO_.

Blessedly and conveniently, someone else had taken over for him about half an hour later; it was just in the nick of time in Remus's opinion, seeing as he and his date had exhausted the topic of flesh-eating slugs far beyond its reach. A Gryffindor by the name of Randal had asked (quite politely) if he could possibly steal Cynthia for a dance.

Remus had suggested that he steal her for two.

Once left alone, the sandy-haired boy had taken it upon himself to troll about each and every inch of the hall in which the dance was being held. Seeing as the alternative was sitting all by his lonesome near a pathetic set of stone benches, all set aside for the students who'd been ditched by their dates (which, Remus supposed, he had been, but he couldn't quite bring himself to be upset over the fact), walking about with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dress robes seemed like quite a good option indeed.

That is, until he felt a rather steady hand on his shoulder with a grip so familiar he nearly shuddered with subconscious anticipation—and when he turned, and was met with those goddamn eyes that he'd somehow avoided noticing after all these years, the only thing Remus could mutter was a soft, and rather meek hello.

"You quite alright there, Moony?" Sirius asked, dropping his hand to Remus's forearm rather than his shoulder as he gave it a light squeeze. "You look a bit faint. Anyway, my date's run off with some Slytherin fellow." He rolled his eyes. "Right ole' bimbo she was to begin with—kept calling me "Siriusly" handsome, then laughing her rather attractive little head off like it was the funniest joke this side of the equator. Really, I can't say I'm not happy to be rid of her. _But_—" Sirius gently bobbed the tip of Remus's nose with his index finger, a grin that reached all the way up to his eyes plastered to his face, "—I'm much _happier _to see you. Dance with me?"

At this point, Remus was doing little more than standing there slack-jawed and wide-eyed, the poor bloke's head a bit short-circuited. In the course of about ten seconds, he'd learned that: One, Sirius had been actively searching him out; Two, his friend had been ditched by his date—and quite honestly, Moony couldn't help but wonder who on _earth_ would've made the exchange worth it; Three, Sirius had, quite intentionally, touched his face; And four, his friend was asking him to dance in an alarmingly public place.

"I-I… I uhh…"

"Fantastic!" Sirius exclaimed, grabbing Remus by the hand and literally dragging him into a large throng of sweaty, messy, _dancing_ people. There was a heavy bass thumping in the background, nearly shaking the dance floor with its intense vibrations, and even Remus couldn't deny that the atmosphere wasn't infectious. Though they hadn't practiced any of _this _type of dancing, Moony slowly found himself giving his movements over to his instincts and managing a little wiggle when a particularly heavy beat hit—much to Sirius's delight, he mentally added, because his friend's mouth opened in the widest grin he'd ever seen, and before he could even try to replicate the move, Sirius was already grabbing each of his hands and moving their arms back and forth in time to the music as they jumped about.

_This is fun_, Remus thought, _this is actually_ _f_—

"Now, for all you _lovers_ out there, let's slow this d-d-dowwwwwn…"Came a voice from somewhere unknown to Remus. It was met with a chorus of groaning by the boys, and overly exited squealing by the girls.

Just as he was turning to walk off the floor, Sirius grabbed Moony's arm for the second time that night, only this time it was no less gentle, but considerably more telling.

When Remus had reluctantly turned back around to face him, Sirius's lips turned up at the corners in a rather uncharacteristically self-conscious smile. "Why don't we put those lessons to good use?"

Without even waiting for an answer, Sirius all but swept Remus into his arms and began moving the two of them about the dance floor as Moony, in his own right, successfully resisted the urge to slap his friend across the face.

"What are you _doing_?" Remus hissed through a tight jaw and clenched teeth.

Sirius didn't answer right away, instead gradually slowing the two of them down until they were standing quite literally in the middle of the dance floor—though very clearly without any interest to actually _dance_.

The two boys stared at each other for a long time in a rather thick silence, each of their minds plagued with just how absolutely stunning the other looked beneath what eventually came down to little more than magic-enhanced party lights. Their breathing was even heavier this time; their heartbeats more rapid, and something about the way the light was hitting Remus's eyes _just_ right…

"Something I should have done three days ago," Sirius whispered.

There was a beat. A beat that seemed to stretch on for a million and one eternities, and then—

_Oh._

Their lips crushed together in a sort of silent desperation that came from a terribly long time of both young men thinking that they were harboring something undoubtedly unrequited. Remus's hand found Sirius's—or perhaps the other way around—but before they knew it, their fingers were intertwined as if this was a dance all on its own—a special sort of dance; one that caused Remus Lupin's toes to curl just slightly in his second rate dress shoes, and Sirius Black's heart to hammer painfully against his ribcage, as if _begging_ to be set free. Because surely, all of the emotion that was building up inside him was far too much for that poor heart of his to handle.

Eventually, the two were forced to part by equal necessities of oxygen and the chance to gauge what the other was feeling.

"You—" Remus began.

"I—" Sirius started.

They laughed, the both of them, a nervous sort of tinkling chuckle shared between two boys who were teetering on the edge of falling hopelessly in love, right in the middle of an emptying dance floor.

"Still a bit self-centered, are we?" Remus teased as he briefly reached up to brush a stray lock of hair from his friend's eyes.

"Oh, please," Sirius merely rolled his eyes, wrapping five thin fingers loosely around the other boy's wrist before it had the chance to fall. "You love me for it."

"That I do," Remus agreed, then in the next split-second, his own eyes grew impossibly wide.

_Panic_. Instant, deep-rooted panic.

Before he could amend his words—somehow desperately scramble to retract what was essentially the most important phrase a young man, or anyone for that matter, could ever make, Sirius's lips were against his again, the other boy's hair gently tickling his jaw.

"You won't make me say it back, will you, Moony?" Sirius mumbled against Remus's lips, the pad of his thumb gently tracing against his friend's cheekbone as his filter fell low in his chest—completely out of place in the presence of someone who Sirius, admittedly, loved beyond repair.

Remus shook his head 'No'. Or at least, he gave his head the most convincing shake he could manage considering the fact that he was absolutely desperate to keep his lips locked against the other boy's at all times, now that he was well aware of the pleasant little butterflies the action caused to flit about his stomach

A against his wishes (and much to his dismay), Sirius actually pulled away anyway, his nervousness evident with the way he kept glancing towards the floor rather than directly at Remus.

"Well… I suppose I'll say it anyway," he mumbled, then took a rather large breath of air right into his lungs before whispering the quietest and quickest ever, "Iloveyou" known to man.

Remus grinned so wide it must have been a blessing that his cheeks didn't fall right off. "I'm sorry," he said, "Must've missed that. You mind repeating a bit louder? Maybe a bit slower?"

"Iloveyou," Sirius tried for a second time, without much improvement.

"Sorry, what?"

I_love_you."

"Excuse me?"

"I… loveyou."

"Sirius, you're aware that you've sort of got the tendency to mumb—"

"REMUS JOHN LUPIN," Sirius suddenly shouted so loudly that Remus was forced to take a step back, "I am_ horribly _in love with your stuffy, conceited, obnoxiously perky arse—and if you ask me to repeat that again," he paused to take a breath, "So help me, Merlin, I'll dunk you in the nearest punch bowl."

With that, Sirius crossed his arms, a self-satisfied grin tainting his expression. Though after a long moment of Remus just standing there, his face so hilariously red that he could have been easily been mistaken for a large, overgrown tomato, and all eyes from every corner of the room on the two boys who still hadn't moved from the center of the floor, Sirius began to get a little nervous.

"…Well?" he finally asked.

Remus only shook his head. "You're a right awful git, you are." He paused, but only briefly before finally throwing the entire façade away. "Oh, c'mon, Pads. Don't be so _thick_. Honestly, I'm surprised it's taken you this long to figure it out, always boasting about your 'killer intuition' and whatnot."

It was at that moment that both boys leaned in close with a heartbreakingly happy smile on each of their faces. They kissed. And kissed. And kissed again. They kissed 'till their faces went blue and for years and years to follow.

Because from that point forward, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black would always and forever be…

Just a tad bit _better_ than okay.


End file.
